Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Monkey Sex in Bali

Well we're back from our trip to Bali, and I must say we had a blast. Yes, we had every bit as much fun as those two monkeys. But now I'm beginning to realize it's not just nudibranchs that I inspire to have sex, but it seems to work on dogs and monkeys as well. Right as I walked by these two monkeys, one jumped on the other one and....well you can see for yourself what happened. And as we walked through the Monkey Forrest, as soon as several of them saw me, they jumped on one of the other monkeys and started going to it. Is it the shaved head? It is like a mating beacon for the animal world? I don't know, but something was definitely up. I looked and the monkeys weren't doing it in front of any other people, just me.
I don't know if this is where the phrase "get the monkey off your back" originated or not, but it should have. These greedy little monkeys will mob you if you buy any of the bananas to give them. And if they don't think you're giving them to them fast enough, they'll climb you to get them. Here is one of the little guys sitting on Kelli's shoulder.
Our room was just up the road a short walk from the Monkey Forrest, so we went there a couple times. The first time they seemed to want to climb on Kelli, it could have something to do with the fact that I made her carry the bananas. But the second time they were all over me, and I didn't even have any bananas. At first when they climbed me, they seemed intrigued with my hat, and would play with it and chew on it. But then they got tired of playing with the hat and decided to look under it to see if I needed to have any bugs picked off me.
This guy sat there for the longest time just playing with my head, scratching it with his fingers, patting it, and it even felt like he, or she, might be kissing it at times. There's just no accounting for taste in monkeys. But again, like I said, wherever I walked in the Monkey Forrest, I kept inspiring scenes like these.
I kid you not, I was like the Pied Piper of monkey sex. My shaved head and I would walk by, and they couldn't keep their paws off each other, or other things for that matter. The guy on top here looks quite proud of himself. I don't know why I was picturing Angelo when I saw this guy.
At times I have claimed to have the gift of knowing what animals are thinking, this particular moment baffled me though. I couldn't tell if she was thinking, "are you done that fast...again?", or "would you hurry up and get it over with so I can go back to picking the bugs off your face". Yes we had a good time in the Monkey Forrest taking pictures of these cute little guys. That is we were having a good time right up until we were getting ready to leave the Monkey Forrest on our last day in Bali and I was savagely attacked and bitten by one of them. So the question is, why was I bitten? Was it because one of the monkeys got tired of having to do it every time I walked by him and bit me so I'd finally leave so he could get some rest? Or was it because one of them stole my hat and wouldn't give it back and I wasn't going to give up my Tulamben shipwreck diving hat without a fight, and monkeys bite when they fight? Or was it because I ate the banana and then just gave the monkey the empty banana peel? Well if you ever plan on going to Bali, it's a story you need to hear. But the only way you're going to hear it is by inviting me to join you at the bar of your choice and buying me a Scotch. Chivas Regal please. And when you think about it, the cost of a glass of Scotch is a pretty cheap price to learn how you can avoid being savagely attacked and bitten as I was.


Oh by the way, I did plenty of diving, and some of those pictures are coming as well. I'm also uploading them all to my Smugmug site, so you can go over there to see them all if you'd like. It's at http://www.saipandiver.smugmug.com/ Just look for the Bali Gallery.