Friday, August 3, 2007

Evil Cats & Diabolical Dogs

You'll recall a while back I posted this picture, of Alex showing Charlie how to use their new cat door. Only after I had to bribe him with Tuna and Scotch, but that was another story. A cat door can be a good thing, it can let the cats go out and do their business anytime they feel like it, without waking you up in the middle of the night to let them out. And it allows them to come back in anytime they feel like it as well, rather than stand at the door meowing and creating a ruckus. And if everything worked in life as it should, that would have been the end of the story and everybody would have lived happily ever after. Sadly, that was not to be the case.

It seems that Emma, our dog, got her nose out of joint (and that's a big nose to have out of joint) because she saw Alex getting tuna and Scotch during our little talks. Emma started sulking around for a few days, pouting and putting on quite a show. How was I to know she had a thing for Scotch too? She tried claiming it was really the tuna she wanted, but we both knew better. Then I came home from work the other day, the cats were both sitting on the couch with their paws crossed, looking very edgy and nervous. They made a beeline for the front door I had just come in through. I was a little confused, if they needed to go out so bad, why didn't they just use their cool cat door? So I went into the kitchen only to discover this! Now it's not that I didn't consider buying a pet door big enough for Emma to fit through as well, it's just that it would have cost me 3 times the cost of a brand new door and I had a hard time swallowing that. Plus, Emma has always been really good about holding it until we get home, so I wasn't as concerned about her as I was the cats. But now it seemed that Emma was jealous that not only did she not get her own pet door, but the cats had even managed to get tuna and Scotch out of the deal as well now, and that was just more than she could handle. So now she was sticking her head through the cat door and stopping the cats from coming in or going out. It was her own form of a boycott. But I was confused, because Emma is such a sweet dog, well to her family anyway. She is friendly, lovable and would do anything for you. So where did this vindictive evil streak come from? Who could have possibly taught her such a reprehensible trick? I asked Emma where she learned such bad behavior, but she demanded tuna and Scotch if she were to give up her source of dastardly deeds. Unfortunately she had been talking to the cats and learned that little trick from them. So while Emma was enjoying her little treat, Alex poked his head into the picture and told me if he could have some as well, he'd show me a picture he had taken the day before which would explain everything. At this point I figured what did I have to lose, I might as well get to the bottom of this mess and restore order to my house once again. Then Alex showed me this picture he managed to snap on my camera. Somehow I really wasn't all that surprised! Speaking of furry critters you are trying to keep out of the house, it was Angelo sticking his head through the cat door. He was blocking the cats from using the cat door, and teaching Emma how to do it. Then Alex explained that's why he took a dump in the shower those two times, Angelo had stuck his head through the cat door and scared him to death. Now it was all coming together, everything made perfect sense. I guess I need some rat repellent after all.

P.S. Many thanks to Lewie Tenorio for his help with this blog entry. Now I'm not saying any pictures were doctored or anything, but let's just say Lewie's talents were much appreciated. And if you're wondering why I said dog(s) in the title when I only have one dog, well dogs are the ones who can't seem to fit through the cat door, need I say more? And by the way, if you're wondering why Angelo's hair is all slicked back like that, and why he is puckered up, I guess Emma was licking his hair, so in an attempt to get her to quit, Angelo offered her a kiss on the lips instead.

The Heinous Plot Thickens

Now I think we all know that Angelo really wants to win the Best Saipan Blog badly, but now it has gone to an all new level. For the past 2 days I have not been able to upload any pictures to my blog, so I've held off on posting anything new hoping it would start working again. I had a new update on the cat door, which should make you rethink ever installing a cat door, especially if you have any dogs in the house. But I can't do it because I can't post the pictures which you really need to see to understand.

I think we all probably know the real reason people come to my site is because of the pictures. If they just want to hear me babble on and on, they can turn on their radio. I also think it's worth noting here that Angelo doesn't have a radio (the plot thickens). Let's face it, underwater pictures of nudibranchs are cute and amazing, especially if you've never seen them before. And pictures of cats collaborating on how to get more tuna and tuna sauce out of me are mildly entertaining as well. But if you take all that away, you've just got me going on and on and on. And frankly, that gets old fairly quick. And as long as I was able to throw new pictures up on my blog everyday, my percentage was steadily climbing in the Best Blog poll. I kind of feel like I'm Austin Powers and Angelo is Dr. Evil, and he is strategizing over there about how to stop me. Maybe it's the other way around, but in my mind this is how it is going to have to be. So has Angelo paid off Blogger to not accept anymore of my pictures? Can they really be bought off that easily? Did my cats get pissed off that I kept posting their pictures without their permission? Did my dog hear that I was about to expose her evil deeds and she started conspiring with Angelo?

I think you can see this is definitely a desperate situation, and we have a lot of questions that need to be answered. But thanks to all of you who have voted for Harry's World as the Best Saipan Blog, and I promise there will be more pictures on the way just as soon as I get to the bottom of this evil conspiracy.