Friday, August 10, 2007

New Bloggers & Exposed Secrets

Well now I've done it, I've actually inspired my wife Kelli to write a blog. And sure enough it has already come back to haunt me. Right off the bat she had to expose one of my deepest, darkest secrets. I thought maybe she would ease into it, talking about Josh & Sarah, the cats, maybe even Greg, I didn't care. But to go shedding light on something about me that I've been trying desperately to keep hidden, I don't know - where do I hide my face now? Yes, that's right, she has told the entire world that I am a ballroom dancer (although a somewhat reluctant one).

I mean does that really go along with my macho diver image? Well, if the truth were told, and everyone knew how absolutely terrible I am at ballroom dancing, they might just think, poor old Harry - he's trying to dance but we all know he doesn't have the coordination or rhythm for it. If you put fins on his feet, he'd undoubtedly be more graceful, and if you put a mask on his face, he'd look a heck of a lot better too!

More proof that I'm a terrible ballroom dancer is that I can only dance swing and foxtrot, and neither of them well. But when they try teaching me any new dances, my brain and feet shut down simultaneously and I get this glazed over look on my eyes. The fact of the matter is that my dance memory card is chock full. It simply can't absorb one more step or move, and when they try making me learn more, a tilt sign shows up in my eyes and my hard drive completely locks up. So if you're female and have any delusions of trying to get me to dance, you'd better be wearing steel toed work boots and realize that there is a very good chance that we will both wind up in a heap on the floor.

I wonder if there is a 12 step program that I can attend for this? Well, they say the first step on the road to recovery is admitting your dark secrets and facing them head on. So yes, I was tricked into learning ballroom dancing, another heinous story that we'll save for another time. I am absolutely horrible at it and am singlehandedly responsible for more foot injuries than CHC has seen in years. So is there any chance that we can all just pretend this nasty little secret never made it out of the closet and just go on with our cool diving lives? Thanks, I knew you'd all be right there to support me!

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